Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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  (918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4
  Replies (14) Good night (4130) Bad night (713)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7777) Bad night (871)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3711) Bad night (1511)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.

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  (303): I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder. http://tfl.nu/f12p
  Replies (21) Good night (9539) Bad night (1455)
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  (916): View more from California

  She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

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  (916): She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared. http://tfl.nu/d52d
  Replies (14) Good night (964) Bad night (2569)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all

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  (814): Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all http://tfl.nu/xfbz
  Replies (12) Good night (2931) Bad night (1086)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1714) Bad night (631)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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  (478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover http://tfl.nu/1qw9
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (1027)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?

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  (818): I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal? http://tfl.nu/2gme
  Replies (6) Good night (1028) Bad night (753)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (589)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS

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  (614): TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG (1-614): HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS http://tfl.nu/fp5t
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (798)
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  (310): View more from California

  Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.

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  (310): Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch. http://tfl.nu/am85
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (367)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.

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  (412): I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/c3ar
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (769)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station

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  (802): Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station http://tfl.nu/2mxj
  Replies (10) Good night (662) Bad night (315)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?

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  (620): It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more? http://tfl.nu/0gbc
  Replies (1) Good night (776) Bad night (335)

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