btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
