I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
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you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties