i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound