hotel room ftw
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility