Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"