eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.