awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
