if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
