i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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