You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
