ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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