fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
