if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
birth control should be required to get into college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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