I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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