get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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