That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
