Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What a dumb baby whore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
