I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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