Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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