Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it's like iHOP with fire
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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