I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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