apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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