Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize