I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
