They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
