Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
