you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
