she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
