the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
