Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
