You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
