Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
