can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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