So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
