So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
