Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
