hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
