Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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