I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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