i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
