i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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