just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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