Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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