You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize