She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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