you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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