I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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