loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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