When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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