God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
