Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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