You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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