you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
