she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
