took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
