she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass