Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

Fav 9 1031 4161
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?

Fav 34 4300 1137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(660): View more from Missouri

Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart

(281): View more from Texas

What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?

(660): View more from Missouri

Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni

Fav 19 5491 1198
share tweet
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

Fav 20 5557 1541
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.

Fav 8 4847 1137
share tweet
(972): View more from Texas

My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.

Fav 10 1352 3791
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.

Fav 7 3370 1260
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital

Fav 2 659 395
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(478): View more from Georgia

You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra

Fav 0 22 52
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT