1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
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These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.