i think my tv is drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.