I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals