he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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