Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
