yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
