i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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