I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
