His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
