dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
