Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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