Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Randomize
