I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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