U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
