but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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