If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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