Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
