yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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